


The IKEA Test

by cyaninja



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 02:02:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13180035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyaninja/pseuds/cyaninja
Summary: Obito thinks Kakashi needs a new bed. Good thing there's an IKEA store in Konoha!





	The IKEA Test

**Author's Note:**

> So, there's this urban legend that only couples meant to be make it out of IKEA as a couple. KakaObi is my OTP and the thought of those two doing some shopping together entertained me greatly. This is my first fic written in English, so feel free to correct me!

There was apparently an Ikea store in Konoha. Of course Obito knew all the rumors. Madara himself had told to stay away from those hellholes and not to ever bring a boyfriend there. However, Kakashi really needed a new bed. The old one was covered in dog hair, it was too small for two grown men and it smelled suspicious which probably had something to do with the fact that Kakashi had eight mutts. There was no way Obito was going to sleep in their drool anymore. Besides, Ikea was cheap and Akatsuki’s former savings were all spent to cover the war reparations.

“Are you sure about this?” Kakashi asked at the store entrance. “It’s still not too late to turn around and go back home, you know.”

Obito rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I’m one hundred percent sure about this, Bakashi”, he answered. “Stop being stupid. We’ve been through much worse than this.”

Kakashi seemed a bit defeated.

“Alright, whatever you say. I hope no one needs to reanimate former hokages this time”, he muttered. Obito chose to ignore his words, though. 

The store turned out to be a maddening maze.

“There’s a map”, Kakashi pointed out. “Maybe we could just check it out and kamui our way to the bedroom section.”

“Are you seriously asking me to waste my chakra on something like that?” Obito groaned. He wasn’t going to do that. 

“At least let’s see the map.”

“No.”

“We’re lost.”

“No, we’re not”, Obito argued. He wasn’t sure why but then again, disagreeing with Kakashi had been always ridiculously easy. 

Kakashi sighed but decided not to push it which was kind of disappointing. This time he muttered something about absurdly stubborn people but yet again Obito chose to ignore the rambling. 

After half an hour no progress had been made. 

“We’re still lost”, Kakashi pointed out. “What do you think about these curtains?”

“They’re hideous.”

“I’m going to buy them.”

“No!”

“Why not?”

“Because they’re mold green and ugly and Danzō patterned.”

“I think they look more like squirrels than Danzōs.”

Kakashi hadn’t had a sharingan since the 4th war, so maybe it wasn’t a total surprise that his vision wasn’t the best. However, Kakashi should’ve been smart enough to see the difference between a squirrel and a clear Danzō.

“I swear I’m going to burn all those curtains if you even dare to think them again”, Obito stated. “Now, let’s go.”

An hour later they had finally reached their destination. 

“I think that one is just fine”, Obito said and pointed towards the only pleasant option. 

“My dogs won’t be able to jump over that footboard”, Kakashi remarked. 

“That’s the point.” 

“But then they’ll have to sleep on the floor.”

“Exactly”, Obito agreed.

“That won’t do.”

“Excuse me?”

“I know that you’re not a dog person but my dogs are already used to sleeping in bed”, Kakashi explained. “I’m not going to make them sleep on the floor.”

Obito arched his brow. 

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yes”, Kakashi affirmed. 

“Oh, fuck you! I’m not going to spend another night with a dog ass on my face!”

“That’s alright”, Kakashi assured. “We’ll buy you a mattress.” 

“You’re kidding, right?” Obito spat. He wasn’t going to have any of this.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to kick you out of the bed if you ever change your mind. Now, is there any mattress that pleases you particularly?”

It was said that visiting this Sage-abandoned place brought the worst out of people and showed their looniest sides. Sure enough Obito had heard about the time when Madara and Hashirama visited the first Ikea store ever in Kumo but he had always thought that Madara had been exaggerating while saying that it was back then when he had realized how pitch black hell world actually was.

“Bakashi”, Obito was almost too stupified to even talk. “I’m not going to sleep on the floor.”

“Then we’ll need to find a bed that suits the dogs.”

It was almost funny how many times the same arguments could be made in so many different ways. It was nothing new, really. There had been so many times before when Obito had thought that maybe Kakashi was deaf or speaking in a language that he simply couldn’t understand. No matter how hard he yelled, Kakashi didn’t seem to understand the point.

Actually, after a while Obito realized that he had forgotten his point already. It didn’t matter, though. They had gone too far to stop.

Maybe fire styling some furniture wasn’t the best possible way to deal with the heated situation but Kakashi was really annoying and it wasn’t like he was any better.

The fine bed had been utterly destroyed.

“You’re the worst!” Obito hissed between gritted teeth. “Now we need to pay for the shit without even getting it.”

“You’re not one to talk”, Kakashi noted flatly. “The store is still burning.”

Obito was going to say something but he was interrupted.

“Excuse me, sirs.”

It was an employee. 

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave”, she said. “Also, I need your names and addresses and the name of your insurance company.”

Obito and Kakashi shared a look before speaking in unison.

“Sure, one sec.”

Kamui swirled them away before the employee could do a thing. They landed on the top of the hokage rock.

They stood still awkwardly in silence for a good couple of minutes before Obito spoke.

“I think we should just check out some mail order catalogues.”

“Sounds reasonable”, Kakashi said mildly. He seemed a bit embarrassed but he was still holding Obito’s hand. “So, we’re good now?”

“Yeah, we’re good”, Obito confirmed and sighed. “Let’s just forget this ever happened, okay?”

Kakashi smiled behind his half mask as he nodded.

“At least now we know for sure that we’re meant to be, don’t you think?”

“Oh, shut up, you sap”, Obito huffed but secretly he agreed with Kakashi. The history they shared was quite colorful and full of disappointments, broken promises and betrayal. Yet they had learned forgiveness together and found love to replace bitterness. And now on top of that they had just made it out of Ikea. That was truly something.

They made a silent promise never to return to Ikea and it was sealed by a single gentle kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll give imaginary cookies for everyone who comments! <3
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](http://cyabae.tumblr.com/) if you want.


End file.
